What black, and white, and green all over?
by NoDrogs
Summary: A black haired, green and black garbed thief is running through Middleton... and it AIN'T Shego!
1. She's not who it appears

What's Black and White and Green All Over?

Chapter one

By: NoDrogs

I do not own Kim Possible or any related characters. They are the property of the Walt Disney corporation and are used without permission purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes.

This is not part of my Small Possibilities series, it's just a silly one-shot fan fic.

It was dark and storm-free night. Outside, the streets were lit by electric street lights, instead of random flashes of lightning. Inside the lab of Dr. Zimmerman, all was quiet.. Automated security cameras scanned the darkened space. Inside a glass tank, a large spider spun its web.

Against one wall, an air conditioning grate suddenly sprang out. Before it could fall to the floor, a pair of graceful hands, clad in black and green gloves, reached out and caught it. A lithe, female figure clad in a form fitting green and black suit slipped out of the narrow air conditioning vent. In the dim glow from the lab windows, her skin looked pale white in contrast to the jet black hair on her head and the bright green and jet black of her outfit. Before either of the two security cameras could get a good look at her, she pointed a device that looked like a TV remote at each camera. There was a brief electric whine in each camera and then they froze, motionless.

The female burglar moved confidently across the room to a large electronic safe. When she used the remote control this time, the safe beeped and unlocked, allowing her to open it. She quickly pulled out a folder and several micro-CDs... research that Dr. Zimmerman had stolen from several other scientists, and that she was now stealing from him. Leaving the safe unlocked, she strolled back to the air conditioning vent, tucking the remote and the stolen material into a pouch strapped to her ankle. She pulled herself back into the vent, exiting the building.

Several minutes later, the pied-costumed figure ducked into a hotel room she had rented over the internet, under a false name. Another, more conventional outfit was already laid out on the bed. The female figure transferred the stolen records to an innocuous looking backpack, then went into the bathroom. She glanced at her pale face in the mirror, and picked up a towel. After removing the black wig that had covered her real hair, Kim Possible began to wipe the makeup off her face.

"Did you and Ron stay out late last night?" asked Mrs. Dr. Possible, as she saw her little Bubble Butt yawn over a bowl of cereal.

"Just enjoying ourselves before we have to go to college." said Kim, in what was not quite a lie. Kim, much to her surprise, had enjoyed her last night eacapades. Ron, she was sure, had enjoyed himself last night also; last she had seen, he had been chortling over the fact that the Mucho Buenos Nachos in Go-City now featured Nacos. Ron had been accepted at a cullinary college in Go City; Kim was sure that Ron would be spending most of his time eating there, especially since he was friends with the store's manager (and residential superhero) Hego. Ron had even mentioned that Hego had asked Ron if Ron would be interested in taking a sidekick position with him, while Kim was attending college in Europe.

"Anything interesting in the news?" Kim said, glancing at her dad.

"Great news, Kimmie-cub!" said Dr. Possible. "Remember that Dr. Zimmerman I was telling you about? It seemed the police last night received an anonymous package with evidence that Dr. Zimmerman had been steeling research from other scientists. I knew he stole those rotary rocket designs from me."

"I guess what goes around comes around." says Kim. "Do the police know who sent the package?"

"It says the police are following some leads, but nothing else." said Dr. Possible. "Oh, look at the time... I've got to run."

Kim looked at the paper and read over the article, smiling. She turned the page, flipping through the rest of the paper. After a few minutes, her smile vanished, to be replaced by a calculating frown. She stared at a small headline near the back of the paper. 'Tri-Ples Financial to close Middleton Orphanage'.

"Father, I do not understand why we must be here." Senor Senior Jr. paced around the luxorious hotel suite. "These quarters are so small compared to home. And everything reeks of Middleton."

"Now now, my son." said Senor Senior Sr., the head of the Trip-Les Financial corporation. "Here I am, about to pass a milestone in my career of evil, and you do not wish to admire it?"

"But all you are doing is foreclosing on a loan." said Senor Senior Jr. "What is evil about that?"

"It's a loan on an ORPHANAGE." said Senor Senior Sr. "What self respecting villain could resist the opportunity to kick a group of penniless orphans out into the street, along with the dozens of hard working, kind hearted people who work there?"

"Whatever." said Senor Senior Jr. "I am going to change and go work on my tan some more."

Senor Senior Sr. sighed as his son walked out. His son had no respect for the craftsmanship of evil. Evil was more then just a hobby, it required art. It required patience. It required...

Senor Senior Sr.'s thoughts were cut off as his son screamed, shrieking like a Girl Scout who had just managed an exclusive sales contract with a cookie-eating championship sumo team. He rushed into the next room. The safe provided by the hotel was open, with several large packets of money missing. One window of the hotel room was cut open, leaving a large hole. Junior was pointing at the window.

"I saw the thief, father, just as she was leaving... she was dressed in green and black, like Shego!"

Senor Senior Sr. frowned in confusion.

Senor Senior Sr. counted through the money again and sighed in disappointment. The amount on the table was the exact same amount that had been taken from his safe... an amount that Senor Senior Sr. would normally have considered pocket change. More infuriatingly, however, it was also the exact amount left due on the mortgage.

"I am afraid I have no choice." he said. He took out the deed to the orphanage and handed it to the matron who was smiling in delight. "Thanks to a mysterious benefactor... the orphanage will remain open."

"Police followed a woman believed to be the internationally wanted 'Shego' to a local warehouse today, after the woman threw a large brick through the police headquarters window. The woman vanished at the warehouse, but the police did manage to capture and arrest a ring of drug smugglers who had been using the warehouse as a meetinghouse. Asked if this was part of the 'beneficial crime wave' that has been sweeping our city lately, the chief of police refused to comment."

Kim turned off the television set, grinning. Little did the police or the media suspect that these recent 'crimes' had really been super hero Kim Possible. Being anonymous and playing the bad girl gave Kim Possible an illicit thrill, even as she reminded herself she was only committing these actions for the common good. So far, not even Ron or Wade knew what Kim had been doing to keep herself busy. With luck, no one would ever find out.

"Shego! How could you!"

Shego looked up from where she was finishing welding some metal panels into the new lair. "What is it this time?" said Shego. "Did I put the pickle jar lid back on too tight again?"

"I thought we had firmly agreed that saving the world from Wormonga was a one time thing!" said Dr, Drakken. He dropped a newspaper on the table, where a police artist sketch of a woman in black and green was boldly displayed on the front page. The face was left mostly blank, but the costume and black hair distinctly matched Shego's.

Shego picked up the paper and read. "Modern day Robin Hood... Reformed super villain?!"

"Um... Shego..." said Dr. Drakken. "You're wrinkling the newspaper..."

Shego growled, ignoring Dr. Drakken. Her hands ignited, green flames flowing out and incinerating the newspaper into a little pile of ash.

"Someone is ruining my bad name!" screeched Shego.

"I wasn't done reading that!" protested Dr. Drakken.

Shego glared at Dr. Drakken, then stormed out of the room, intent on proving there was more then one way to skin a copy cat. The still burning ashes of the newspaper fluttered around her

The door to Kim's attic bedroom slid open. Kim Possible slipped in, still dressed in her 'Shego suit'.. She was trembling. A few minutes ago, she had stopped a mugging. Normally, she would have had her mission gear to help. Grappling gun, lipstick laser, or at least some sticky-trap gum. When going out as Shego, she had left that behind, only taking the few items she could fit into the ankle pouch that would help her act the part of a super thief.

She hadn't thought before attacking the mugger, who had been armed with a gun. The thief had been able to get off a shot before Kim had managed to subdue him with a kung-fu attack. Had the bullet been just a little better aimed, Kim realized she would have come home bleeding…. Or had to be rushed to the hospital… or even dead.

Not even Shego relied purely on her hand to hand combat skills. Shego had her plasma powers. Kim needed to find some equivalent if she was going to keep going out dressed as Shego.

The thought of stopping her midnight forays as the green-and-black costumed villainess never even crossed Kim's mind.

Shego pushed the lapels of her dark green trench coat further up and grumbled. Normally, she didn't mind going to these Hench-co trade shows, even if she usually wound up having to steal something for Dr. Drakken after them. However, now, the suspicious looks she was getting had little to do with the change she'd be looking for a five finger discount but the theory she was leading a double life, thief AND hero.

Much to Shego's surprise, she saw a young woman looking at a booth showing robotic spy-bugs. The woman was wearing a face mask that hid her eyes, but was brazenly dressed in a duplicate of Shego's trademarked green-and-black suit. (Ok, so technically it was trademarked while she was with Team Go, it was still trademarked!)

"Who are you?" snarled Shego.

The woman turned and smirked. "I'm the next generation."

To say that Shego was irked would be an understatement. So would saying she was angry, miffed, irritated, and highly annoyed. 'Seriously pissed off' would probably do, as long as one did not intend to be too literal.

Rather then engage in any more banter, Shego fired off a snap kick to her doppelganger's chest. The figure reacted even as the kick was on its way, managing to grab Shego's foot and yanking her off balance.

Shego growled deep in her throat and allowed her hands to light up with plasma energy. The woman raised her own gloved hands and snapped her fingers. Green crystals began to form over the body suit and gloves, providing the Shego-imposter with a layer of armor and elongated finger claws.

Shego and the Shego-imposter began to lash out with a furious series of blows. The crystals, whatever they were, protected the imposter from Shego's plasma attacked… whenever she managed to destroy a layer of the crystals, they just regrew. On the other hand, the imposter couldn't do more then scratch Shego a few times, wounds Shego easily ignored in the heat of battle.

Various villains, assuming the fight was some sort of staged demonstration, gathered around. The audience just fueled Shego's rage, as her imposter just seemed to get cockier, showing off for the audience.

At last Shego managed to grab Shego-two in a headlock. The imposter gasped, trying to rake Shego's arm with her crystal claws. Shego yanked back, dislodging the wig the Shego-imposter was wearing. Shego saw a brief glimpse of bright red hair…. Hair Shego would have recognized anywhere… before the imposter managed to yank the wig back in place.

Kim reached for her ankle pouch. Her masquerade had almost been exposed, it was time to jet. She pulled a small flash-grenade from the ankle pouch, triggering it even as she closed her eyelids tight. Even with the mask and her eyelids closed, the light from the grenade left spots dancing in front of her eyes but the rest of the people in the hall were temporarily and effectively blinded. Kim ducked out of Shego's reach and ran for the air-vent tunnel she had used to enter the hall.

"SHEGO!"

Dr. Drakken stomped to Shego, his arms full of bags with various promotional handouts and the normal give away toys. "What's this I hear about you fighting yourself? I though we had a strict agreement about no clones."

"It wasn't a clone." said Shego. She smiled to herself. Of all the people she had thought might be behind the rash of Robin Hood attacks, this had never struck her as a…. possible option. Shego smiled. "Ooh, this is going to be fun."

"What are you talking about?" said Dr. Drakken. "And what's this 'crystal battle suit' everyone else is talking about. Who's making it and where can we steal one?"

"Dr. D…" said Shego, then changed her mind about what she was going to say. "I'm going to need some vacation time."


	2. Rude awakenings

What's Black and White, and Green All Over?

Chapter two

By: NoDrogs

I do not own Kim Possible or any related characters. They are the property of the Walt Disney corporation and are used without permission purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes.

This is not part of my Small Possibilities series, it's just a silly one-shot fan fic.

* * *

"This is weird." said Dr. Possible, busy reading the morning paper.

"What is?" asked Kim. "Another 'Robin Hood' crime?"

"No, but just is paradoxical." said Dr. Possible. "A graffiti artist who 'tagged' where almost no one would see it."

He turned the paper and showed Kim. The headline of the article read "Top Secret Graffiti?" The article explained that the top secret military research facility in Upperton, had been hid by a graffiti artist who had spray painted one wall with what appeared to be riddles. The building was the tallest one on base, but screened by other buildings. As a result, only the top riddle could be seen. "What's Black, and White, and Green all over?".

The other riddles were hidden from view, and the government had refused to divulge what else the vandal had painted on the building.

Kim Possible felt her curiosity tingle. As a world famous hero she could, of course, call in some favors to be let on the base. That, however, would take time. Much easier to just sneak in.

Later that night, Kim Possible, dressed as 'Shego Two', flew over the base fence, dressed in a black and green version of her flying squirrel suit. She quickly worked her way from rooftop to rooftop, using crystal claws to climb higher buildings, until she had the best view possible of the riddle bedecked wall.

"What is Black, and White, and Green all over?"

"What has jaws but never eats?"

"What is easier to get in to then out of?"

"If you see me coming, you avoid me. When you find me by surprise, you'll never leave me of your own desire."

Kim stared. Except for the first riddle, they all seemed to describe…

"A trap."

Kim turned, startled. The words had come from behind her. Something was wrong… very wrong. Her nostrils flared and she realized that the smells of the military base…. Electrical ozone, concrete, sweat, and motor oil… were now joined by another scent. One almost sickeningly sweet but which for some reason, faintly, she associated with her mother.

Before she could put a name to the face who was staring down at Kim, Kim found herself falling to her knees.

"Good night, princess." the voice said as Kim found her eyes closing, falling completely unconscious.

Kim moaned, opening her eyes. Her head was pounding. She looked around. She was in a dimly lit bedroom. A small table was next to the bed, holding a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. The bottle was open, with two aspirin tablets in the lid of the bottle. Judging from the condensation on the glass, it had been there for awhile. Kim hesitated for a minute, then reached for the aspirin. If Shego had wanted her dead, there were a lot easier ways she could do it then just poisoning Kim. Kim gulped the water down, until only ice was in the glass. The anesthetic gas Shego had used to knock Kim unconscious had also left Kim dehydrated.

Once the headache had faded, Kim turned on the room lights and looked around. The main door was locked, with no way to open it from the inside. The bedroom was as anonymous as a hotel room, with two other doors leading to a small bathroom and an even smaller closet. Much to Kim's surprise, she was dressed still dressed in the green and black jumpsuit she had been wearing when she had fallen into Shego's trap, but the ankle pouch and the hidden pockets of the suit were empty. In addition, the crystal growing cells she had taken from her dad's lab and placed in the suit had been all removed or disabled. The closet held several of Shego-style jumpsuits, tailored to Kim's size.

Kim went into the bathroom and received yet another shock. The wig she had been wearing was gone, but her hair had been dyed jet black. A few minutes with the sink running on full convinced Kim that the dye was not going to wash out. Kim finally stepped out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. Besides the table, the bed was the only furniture in the room. An armored glass dome was centered over the bed, undoubtedly holding a security camera.

After a few minutes, the bedroom door unlocked and opened. Shego was standing outside, holding a metal tray. "Good morning, cupcake. I was wondering when you'd wake up. Ready for breakfast?"

Shego carried the tray in, apparently forgetting the open door behind her. Kim stood up slowly, and reached for the tray. As soon as she got her hands on it, she flicked it up. The metal cover fell off, revealing the tray underneath was empty. Not worrying about that, Kim dashed past Shego and out the open door.

Shego sighed. "So predictable." she muttered, picking up the tray and cover.

Kim dashed through what was apparently some small lair. It appeared to be in the shape of a dome, with a long circular corridor surrounding various rooms. She ignored most of the doors, seeking one that led out of the ring. Finally spotting one, she opened it and prepared to step out into…

Kim froze, hands gripping the door frame to keep herself from falling out. The dome was inside some massive cavern, the jagged floor of the cavern over a hundred feet below. With her battle suit or rocket pack, Kim could easily have made the jump. If she still had her squirrel suit, she would have risked it. As she was, she had no chance of surviving a fall from this height. Metal cables held the dome lashed to the roof of the cavern, offering support for the dome with no visible way or hope of escape.

"Cozy, isn't it?" asked Shego. "Dr. Drakken originally designed this lair to be completely inaccessible. A little TOO inaccessible, as it happened… but it's perfect for my plans."

"What do you want, Shego?" demanded Kim, stepping back from the long drop and closing the door.

"It's 7 in the morning." said Shego. "I want what every villain wants." Shego paused, smiling at Kim's discomfort. "Breakfast."

Shego led Kim to the kitchen of the mini-lair, where two plates had been prepared. While a full set of cutlery had been laid out by Shego's plate, the other plate only had a small plastic spoon.

"Not taking any chances?" said Kim.

"You only have yourself to blame." said Shego, sitting at the fully appointed plate and picking up a knife and fork. "You stole my image. Surely you had to expect…. Consequences."

"This is some sort of bizarre punishment for copying you?" said Kim. "What's your plan?"

Shego smiled. "Simple, my dear. If you want to be me… I'm going to make you the best me you can be."

Shego began eating, ignoring Kim's further questions and demands. Finally, Kim picked up the spoon and began eating the scrambled eggs Shego had prepared for her. Much to Kim's surprise, she discovered Shego was actually a pretty good cook.

Kim finished and set the spoon down on the plate. "What now?"

Shego finished the last bite of steak and eggs and placed her cutlery down as well. "Well, I don't know about you, but I like to start with a run after breakfast.". Shego's hands lit up and she threw a blast of fire at Kim's feet. "Start running."

Kim found herself running down the circular hallway that was the outermost part of the mini-lair, Shego in hot pursuit. Whenever she tried to slow down or try one of the doors leading to an inside room, Shego threw a plasma blast to discourage her. Opening an outer door just showed more of the cavern, lit by halogen light panels built into the sides of the lair.

After an hour, Kim found herself exhausted. She considered herself in extremely good shape, but was wiped out. Shego, while breathing hard and sweating, seemed ready to keep running for another hour. "Not bad, cupcake…" Shego said. "But you'll need to get much better before you're worthy to be me.". Shego led Kim back to the bedroom Kim had woken up. "Get showered and changed. Lock picking class in ten minutes."

Much to Kim's surprise, lock picking class was just this. Shego explaining, then demonstrating how to use a set of lock picks and other tools to open a variety of mechanical locks. She then announced that Kim was going to be locked in the training room, and not allowed lunch until she got out.

By the time Kim had managed to get the third lock on the door open and exited the room, her stomach was growling. To make it worse, Shego had obviously had time to prepare two lunches and finish eating hers, while the plate for Kim had cooled. After lunch, Shego had led Kim to a room that was a cross between a set of monkey bars and an obstacle course, laid out in three dimensions.

Only after making Kim work to exhaustion did Shego allow Kim to break for dinner. As they ate, Kim was finally able to get Shego to answer a question that involved more then the immediate activity.

"How long do I plan to keep you here?" asked Shego, repeating Kim's last question. "Until your training is complete. I'd be amazed if even Global Justice or your little friend Wade could find you here… it's been years since Drakken built this little lair, and the rock overhead quite effectively blocks radio signals and all modern search equipment. Seismic and gravitational effect scans would reveal this large cavern, but that's about it."

"What is this all about?" demanded Kim again.

Shego sighed. "Kim…" said Shego, for once not bothering to use a nickname. "You chose to dress up and pretend to be me. If it was just once, I'd have accepted it as a whim. But you kept doing it. Obviously, you were getting a thrill being the bad girl."

"No!" said Kim, automatically denying it.

"Then why did you keep putting on the suit?" asked Shego. She waited for a moment, then stood up. "I thought so. Shower and get to bed, you should be able to find your room by now. And don't think about disobeying me or trying to escape during the night. I'm the only one here who knows how to get out of this lair, and you'd never be able to find it on your own. Good night, Kimmy. Sleep well. Most likely I'll kill you in the morning."

Kim squeaked in surprise at the threat. Shego rolled her eyes. "What, you never watched The Princess Bride?" Shego demanded.

The days after went the same way, except that Shego insisting on the run before breakfast. After breakfast was training in various forms of burglary in stealth till lunch, then physical training in the afternoon.

Kim had always considered herself in peek physical condition. Compared to 95 of the population, she was. Shego, however, had an edge in size and physical condition. As days turned into weeks, Kim had to come to the conclusion that in many of her fights with Shego, Shego could have won rather then letting Kim win or running from Kim. Finally, one dinner, Kim confronted Shego about it.

Shego picked up her glass of water and stared at it, swirling around it. "Could I have won most of our fights? Kim, from my point of view, most of our fights I did win."

"What do you mean?" demanded Kim, pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear. By now, she had gotten used to the fact that her hair was now colored black.

"Why was I fighting?" asked Shego. "Because Dr. Drakken paid me too. To stall you while he stole something, or he tried his latest project, or whatever. I was his bodyguard. Every time we escaped before the police could arrest us, every time I kept you busy that minute Dr. D needed for his latest scheme, every time I stole something long enough to get it to Dr. Drakken even if you came and took it back… that was a win. About the only win you ever got on me was after you put on that battle suit… AND threw me into an over-charged radio tower."

"I was still ticked about Eric's betrayal." said Kim.

"He was a synthodrone." said Shego. "Is really a betrayal if all he was doing was what he'd been created to do?"

"Seeing him and you together.." Kim said, then hesitated. "It just made me angry. Very, very angry."

"At him, for apparently preferring me to you?" asked Shego. "Or at me, for preferring him to you?"

Kim hesitated, not sure how to respond.

"Eric wasn't real, Kimmy." said Shego. "I am. So are you. All your life, you've been cast into this mold of 'Perfect Miss Possible', just like Eric was cast in the mold to convince you he was the perfect boy for you… and then turn on you. The main difference between you and Eric is you can break the mold."

"Being here was your idea." said Kim.

"I didn't dress you up in that suit." said Shego. "Dr. Drakken may have forced you the first time to wear it… but you chose to put it back on by yourself. Some part of you wanted to be me… to be the bad girl, for a change."

Shego stood up, for once leaving her dinner unfinished. "I'm going to meditate. Finish up and get some sleep."

It was the first time Shego had ever left the dining room without putting her dishes away. Kim hesitated, then picked up the knife Shego had been using and tucked it into her ankle pouch. Taking the potential weapon seemed, in some way, to be a betrayal of Shego's trust. Kim found that trying to tell herself that all she was doing was what Shego would do in her position didn't help at all.


End file.
